How Did I Get Here?

Hi Followers,

I have decided to add a mid-weekly section to my blog for when I feel I have some of the answer to this question.

It’s a question I have been pretending I didn’t know the answer to for a long time. How did I get here? Well obviously I ate my way here….but why? Well to start I guess I would say my father got me started, not that I am blaming him for me letting it go so far, but I think it started there. He bought tons of junk food. When I got upset he would give me a snack so that I wouldn’t cry anymore instead of just dealing with the problem. He loved us, but loved it more if we were quiet so he could read his paper and drink his beer. My father loved beer. He woke up every morning and the first thing he would do was open a can of Natural Ice Beer and drink it. He probably went through at least a 12 pack a day. He didn’t take me to my ballet classes or softball while my mom was working second shift which could have helped keep me from eating so much, or at least helped me burn off some of the calories! Although to be honest its probably a good thing he didn’t want to take me and my mom had to cancel them, because who wants someone who’s been drinking to drive them somewhere.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my father and miss him very much. I still wake up at night sometimes, crying for him, wishing he was still here on this earth with me. I just think that some of this may have steered me in the direction of over eating. Again I am not blaming him for every single pound I gained. I know I am the one who kept eating when I wasn’t hungry, I am the one who stuffed my face to make myself feel better. I am just trying to establish a time line for when I started eating for reasons other then I was hungry. My thinking is that If I talk about all the things that I believe got me to this point in my life, it will in turn help me keep going with my weight loss.